For The Love Of Urban Fantasy

Okay, so I partied Saturday night with a friend.  We had good times with Jack and Seagrams till about 6am.  Crashed for a few hours and woke up around ten.  Granted, no hang over.  Though I'm fairly certain when I woke up I was probably still drunk.  Still, other than feeling a little tired, no headache or dizziness nada.  Didn't drink last night, but today my head feels like someones playing hand ball against my brain.  How does that make any sense.  See, I've always been weird.

Before the partying commenced on Saturday the hubby and I were playing Street Fighter 4.  My little Stormy girl starts barking her head off so I think my friend has arrived.  Turning in my seat though, I see that the entire kitchen is filled with smoke.  Holy hell!  We jump out of our seats and rush into the kitchen to find smoke flowing half way to the ground.  Apparently the maternal unit forgot that she was boiling hot dogs.  All the water boiled away and the pot and hot dogs were burning.  The pot of course had to be thrown away due to the fact that it was charred.  Taking the appropriate measures clean up and use an industrial size fan to get rid of the smoke.  Stormy girl gets a treat for warning us and lots of praise which she is just eating up.  Of course then she got in trouble for pooping in one of the rooms.  She usually doesn't do that, but I guess she thought she deserved a free-bee for letting us know about the smoke filled kitchen.  She's such a brat!

I still feel kind of bad because I'm taking her to get spade tomorrow.  She will not be amused with me, but since my brothers dog nailed her and she is no longer a virgin we kind of have to.  She's over weight and if she is pregnant there would more than likely be complications.   So tomorrow we take a trip to the vet.  I'm all nervous.  I don't like being put under and I don't like that she has to be, but it's better we get it taken care of now.

Editing the short story some more today.  It's been a bit hard to concentrate with the evil pain shooting through my head and trying to distract me, but 4 Goodies later and it's starting to subside.  Hooray for Goodies!  Especially now that they have the orange flavor.  The deadline for the contest is May which is rapidly approaching.  I want to have it ready to go in the next week or two so it's crunch time!

Which also means my break is over and it's time to get back to work. 

I am now officially closer to thirty than I am to twenty.  Though in reality I don't feel any older, so I guess that's a good sign.  The birthday festivities were excellent.  They entailed lots of drinking, laughing, and game play.  A couple of my buddies came up to enjoy the weekend with me.  Though I just think they came because they are single and have nothing better to do with their time (Joking!) No, they are great, and could have done a hundred and one different things besides coming to visit me, and I am so grateful that they did.  It was definitely good times.  Well most of it, but I'm trying to ignore the bad parts. 

So, my legs are extremely sore, as I have begun working out again, now that I am no longer sick and the party is over.  I thought my belly would be the most sore, but alas, my legs tricked me and do not like being forced into exercise.  Oh well, they will get back into shape damn it!   Along with the belly and the booty.  It's hard work, but I forgot how much fun working out can be.  I don't do a gym anymore.  Too much money and I never wind up going.  I'm better off at home, because then I don't have to go anywhere, so I have no excuse not to do it.  Work it girl!

The contest entry is due in May, but editing is a biatch!  I never did like that part, but it must be done.  Hubby is on my butt about it.  No more procrastinating.  I'll actually be looking over it again tomorrow.  I haven't even glanced at it in two weeks, so my mind can read it fresh.  Newbie here, so doing it the best way I can.

Also working on The Novel, which I actually have a title for now.  Should I say?  Or Nay?  Well, I'll think about it, but I don't want to jinx it.  My leaf has been turned and I don't want the wind coming out of jinxville to flip it back over. 

The only problem I've got at the moment, is that I've got two separate beginning chapters.  Now both chapters will take the story down a different path, but both paths lead to the same place.  The question is, which is the more interesting.  I think I have my answer, but I'm making the hubby read each one to get his opinion.  So, by tomorrow, I shall have my answer.  Though I think I've already made it.  Still, well we'll see.

The other thing I'm doing, once I finish this entry, is writing a second chapter for each to see which one flows better, and which keeps my interest.  I mean if it can't keep my interest, well I can't very well expect to keep a readers interest.

All right, catch ya later LJ addicts.  <3

I haven't written in my journal since 10/15/06.  It's a very thick leather bound one I bought in 04'.  It's only filled out half way through.  I haven't gone back to read much.  I'm not ready to do that yet.  However, I am going to start using that other half.  I realized I have a lot I want to say, but not a lot I want others to hear.  It's why I kept a journal in the first place.  Maybe why I didn't lose my mind back then.  Journal's don't judge or talk back, they just listen, letting you shift through your thoughts so that you can figure out what to do for yourself.  I never realized how much more independent I was just writing my thoughts down, but remembering (if I'm remembering correctly) I think I was a stronger person, more sure of myself.  Even if I wasn't, that's how I perceived myself and one of the things I'm trying to work on is to be strong again.  Stop being depressed and start thinking for myself.  I can't let what happened in my past keep me from living.  I can't let the losses and the pain stop me from taking risks.  I missed my journal, and I think maybe, just maybe it missed me too.

So, I'm having a dilemma about the career choice for my protagonist.  I've tried out several different things, but nothing seems to fit.  She doesn't like any of the jobs we've discussed.  There really is only one thing she wants to do, but due to her medical condition she can't.  So the question is, does she suck it up and try and find something else she loves, or maybe it'll become an integral part of the book that she's constantly going from job to job. 

See, but she's being stubborn, not even wanting to consider some options.  She is obsessed with this one job, but again, they won't let her do it.  Soooooo maybe she's a temp.  She goes around from job to job, basically being a jack of all trades, but not staying with anything long enough to get comfortable.  That could work.  Of course I don't know how much she's going to like it and when we talk about it later she might be a little angry.  She's a very independent character.

Sorry, I was thinking out loud.  Or on paper.  Whatever, you know what I mean.  Of course reading it back now I probably sound a little crazy.  Which I'm not.  Okay, that might be a lie.  This is not helping to prove my sanity.  I think I'm going to go now.

Chunky Monkey and I walked the yard today.  Well technically she ran, I walked.  She has little dachshund legs.  I'm trying to get her down to nine pounds.  She's thirteen now.  It should actually be a tangible goal now that my aunt has moved out.  She was feeding all the dogs all day, and not even healthy stuff.  I know she fed her cheesecake once because it was her dogs birthday.  So they had a party.  I was not amused.  Anyways, now she has hard food and dinner, usually scraps.  Both of my girls seem to feel they are above wet dog food.  She's slimming a bit already. 

It is freezing!!!!!!

Tonight after all are asleep I resume editing my short story for a contest.  I sent it to my god brother for a rough read.  He liked and gave a few pointers.  I can always count on him because he absolutely, brutally honest and he doesn't care about your feelings.  He should have been a critic.  Seriously he'd be rich!

In awesome news SUPERNATURAL resumes tonight!!!!!!!!  *Does Happy Dance*  I'm an addict.  I love that show.  The funny thing, so does my dad.   We watch it religiously every week, have the first two seasons on DVD and can have lengthy conversations about the show.  Guns, bows, hunting, and growing food are great things to talk about, but it's always great that we can talk about little mundane things too.  Well I mean really we can talk about anything, but it's cool that at 60 we have the some of the same media interests.  I even had to buy two copies of the last Harry Potter book because after he had seen the first movie he stole my collection and read them all, so by the time the last book came out, well yeah, he would have stole my copy.  So we got two, and sat on the couch, and read them until we were both finished.  We would both look up from time to time and make comments to each other.  We apparently read at close to the same speed as well.

Okay, I'm rambling now, but what can I say, I love my dad. 

I'm a bit late with this post. No excuses. I could bitch and moan about how this has held me up and that has held me up, but in reality, I've just been lazy when it comes to blogging.

So Belated New Years Resolution #1

-Get on my ass and blog at least three times a week.

I've bee working on a short story for a contest. The rough is done and in the processing of editing with my favorite orange pen. I still have over a month until it's due, but I'm trying to stop procrastinating.

Belated New Years Resolution #2

-Stop procrastinating and get off my ass and do what I really want to do.

And over the last couple of years I have become a house dweller. There have been a lot of bad things, but I have to let them go and move on. I can't just sit here and be all self pitying and depressed. I got lost in that for a while, though I'm actually embarrassed to admit it, but it's true. That's just not my style. Again, I could make excuses about why it happened, but that doesn't it helped. I've realized the problem and it's time to correct it.

Belated New Years Resolution #3

-Stop being a self pitying, depressive, complaining person, and move on with life. Go out, meet new people, shake off the past and welcome the future.

Oh and of course

Belated New Years Resolution #4

-Lose some weight! (Don't we all have that one though?)

Those who didn't know her missed out.  Beautiful, smart, outspoken, and stubborn as hell, Jenn made an impact on everyone she ever met.  There was something about it that made everyone want to be a part of her life.  I even used to joke with her that she had stalker syndrome due to the fact that guys she would meet would suddenly become obsessed with her.  Seriously.  She was never anything but herself and had no problem telling people how it was.  She was a very special person and the world has lost one of it's great spirits.

Jenn was born with cystic fibrosis and for twenty four years she battled it with a fury that the gladiators wouldn't even have been able to contest with.  She was a warrior body, mind, and spirit who never let her illness get the best of her.  She laughed at every opportunity, made every meeting a memory, and was the most loyal friend a person could have.

On October 18th, 2008 Jenn's disease claimed her body, but nothing can ever claim her spirit.  It's what we hold on to.  We celebrate her life and know that she is watching us, laughing with us, crying with us, and experiencing everything with us, but now she is no longer in pain.  She doesn't have to fight anymore.

That of course doesn't stop out hearts from breaking, from feeling that this should not have happened to her.  Nor should it happen to anyone with this disease.  Jenn lived a life of illness, but still found the best of every situation.  If there was an inch of life to live she would extend it into a mile any way she could.  She wanted every moment to count.  She wanted to have fun, make memories, love and be loved.

For four short years she was able to lead a normal life due to a double lung transplant she had.  It wasn't long enough.  She had so much more to give, so much more to contribute.  When she passed, a piece of everyone who loved her was taken with her.



My sister, who I will always love, miss, and remember.  The one who taught me to cherish every moment in life, because you never know when your last breath will be.



The group of strong women (along with the next generation).


The triple threat, the Sisters Three, The greatest super heroes the world has ever known!!!!!!!

You know until now, I had blocked out my emotions, trying to be strong for my husband.  Everything I said above, was true, but detached.   Now, though, I find tears running down my face in silence, as the truth of this hits me.  It's just seemed as though Jenn is in the hospital again, we won't here from her for a few weeks and then, there she'll be again.  Smiling, laughing, making a smart ass comment when the time calls for it.  In a way I can still here it in my head.

In a way because of that assumption it still hasn't fully hit me yet.  Even now the tears are drying up, but I know there will be another round of them when I go to her myspace page, or wear a shirt that was hers.  I miss her, but I know I have to be strong.  My husband is going through this much worse than I am.  His mother died when he was sixteen, now his sister when he's twenty six.  Ten years apart.  He's not taking it well, though he tries to be okay.  I'm worried about him, and I know there is nothing I can do to make it better, only be there for him and help him take the next step.    Things are...not okay, but they will be.  They won't ever be the same, but I have to believe it will in some way be okay again.  A new normal, but never ever will we forget the beautiful woman by the name of Jennifer Michelle.

This isn't edited, or spell checked, this is just what I had to say.

Six years or so ago I wasn't a fan of backing anything up.  After all, my lap top was wrapped in a protects against everything aura so it would never break.  Then, one day, my super indestructable laptop died.  It didn't get a virus, wasn't dropped, it just died.  Away went all of my pictures, files, and stories (including the first one I ever wrote).  They all went to lap top heaven, never to be seen again.

After that, well let's just say my illusions of computers were stripped and I became a very cautious person.  My brother suggested an external hardrive, which is now constantly next to me.  I also mooched one of his many flash drives for double security.  For many years they were nothing but duplicates.  I used them to transfer files from my desktop to my laptop (oh yeah I have two computers as well) though not everything is on both.  One has a few files, the other has more.  Most of my stories are on both, but my music and pictures are not.  

Friday morning I got up and came to my desktop, sat down and went to check my email.  Everything froze.  No problem, that happens every so often.  I go to restart.  As I'm waiting I get a drink, a breakfast bar and come back only to read a message saying...

No Boot Device Available

Which was displayed on the black screen of death.  What he hell!  Try booting in safe mode, unplugging the computer...Nada.  After that I call Dell.  We run some tests, I read what the screen says, and apparently my hard drive is fried.  Not just dead either.  It's got scorch marks!  Hmmmm....okay so obviously I need a new one.  I have to wait for a tech guy to call.  Which, he did.  Today.  They don't work on weekends, so I used my lap top for my computer fix.  The only thing I couldn't do was play WOW, but I made up for that with some ample X-Box 360 time.  If you haven't noticed by now I am a nerd.

So, now I have the new hard drive, and while I'm typing this I'm waiting for all my music to finish transferring, which I would not have if I didn't back everything up.  Paranoid?  Nope, but definitely smart, or else I would have lost all my stories and music again.

It's going to take another 2 hours and 26 minutes to finish transferring my music, but hey I can't have it all.  However, my documents are already transferred over and my updates installed.  So, the rest is just customizing and get everything back to where I like it.

So, I'm off to try and remember some of the customization programs I had for my computer.  I'll figure it out or just find nifty new ones.

 So last night my eyelid for some reason decided it was going to get irritated and red and a little puffy. I gently removed my make up and applied a compress, as I didn't know what the cause of it was. At first I thought I might be getting pink eye, but upon coming to work this morning, I have realized that I have a Sty. My first one in fact. This little booger is irritating!

Last night however, when I was still in the unknown zone, Brian and I decided to go to dinner. I thought I had removed all my makeup, but apparently there were some remnants of my purple eyeshadow, and black liner. By the time we got to the restaurant and I took of my sunglasses, Brian's jaw dropped. Between the makeup remnants, and the puffiness, it looked like I had gotten punched right in my little ol' eye. So I brought my glasses back down. I felt like people were staring at me, thinking I was hiding a black eye that my husband gave me and now he was treating me to dinner to make up for it lol.

Of course, like I said, the reality is, I have a sty. An itchy, annoying, I want to rip it off Sty, but instead, after finding out this is what I had, I went to Walgreens and picked up some eye drops that are supposed to sooth the effects. It sort of works.

I am of course still writing, though it feels like I'm never getting anything done, and when I do, I feel like it's not good, although I know that's just the pessimist in me and I should learn to ignore it. At least when it comes to writing. My protagonist is being as stubborn as ever and I'm really thinking of writing in a scene where she gets her ass kicked and gets put in her place. Knock her off her high horse a bit.

Though, I don't know if that will work, because she's not really on a high horse in the novel, only in my head. Maybe I should have a virtual fight in my head then? No, I did not take my meds today.

Oh, and a bit of good news. Okay well maybe great. My first editorial is going to be published in a magazine! Of course it's not going to say by this author. It was only three hundred words, but they were my words and they are going to be printed in a real magazine. Excitement ensues!!!!!!!

It is a little hard to find time for everything now that I have a job. Working, writing, WOW, Guitar Hero (the latter two or things my husband and I do together), not to mention having the time and energy to go out and do things. Oh yeah, plus we're looking for our own place, which is a pain the pattooties, but will be worth it once we're on our own and by ourselves for the first time. We've been on our own before, but always had roommates. This time, it's going to be just us. Well and Mumbles and Storm. But we'll be the only two humans lol.

That should equal more time for writing since we won't be living with six people and being beckoned and called every fifteen minutes over tedious little things. Oooh, plus privacy! I'm so diggin our own place!

Well gotta jet, work is a callin' and my butt needs to start answering.

 So after my normal nervous break down the other day, I've decided to come back and up date what's been going on in my life.

I am now officially a full time receptionist at an advertising company.  It seem I may have taken the first step to getting experience in the writing world.  Let me explain.

When I went in for the interview three weeks ago I was asked the question almost every employer utters during the get to know you period.  "What is your dream job?"  In other words what do you want to be when you grow up and stop slacking off and working dead end jobs?  I answered honestly.  "A writer."  Hey, I don't want to be a receptionist for the rest of my life, but I live in America where gas prices are breaking the once middle class families and knocking them down here with us struggling ones.  It's pulling us struggling families down in the ditches because we now have to walk our butts to work.  Our country is expensive and getting more so by the day.  It's getting to the point where you can't even poop without paying someone for having to sit on the pot.  I need money, there for, I applied for the job.  Of course all I told her was "A writer."

At which point she said, "What do you write?  Headlines?  Ads?"

"Nothing like that.  I write stories, songs, and poetry."  And every once in a while I get around to posting a decent blog, unlike the whiny oh my god poor me blog from the other day.

So, after a few days, she wants a second interview so the rest of the staff can meet me.  Works good, everyone's laughing, joking, having a great time.  I get the job.

I start on Tuesday of last week.  I learn the ropes all that good stuff.  By Thursday they need a couple of headlines typed up.  I can do that.  As I turn to leave she stops me.  "By the way, if you can think of anything add them to the list."

My heart beats just a little faster, as no one has seen my work other than writing buddies and on occasion my husband.   What the hell, I'll give it a shot.  So I read the ads, and check out the companies website and get some ideas for the products that they sell.  From there, I came up with four headlines to add to the list for the ad.  

Was I happy for the chance?  Of course.  Did I think that they were going to do anything with them?  Not really.  I figured I was a novice compared to the other writers who work at the company.

So anyways, she decides to show them to our big boss and see what he says.  Friday afternoon, I learn that he thought they were great and he's presenting them to the company!  Okay, now I'm shocked!  Shocked enough, that I just sputter something that isn't even coherent and he smiles at me.

They have also decided that they want to expand on my creativity and teach me how to write news releases.  Holy crap!  I mean, I know it's not much, and they might not even decide to use one of my headlines, but it's still the thought that it could happen.  They were talking to me about how I would feel when my first whatever was published and I was like "SHHHHHHH don't jinx it!!!"

This week they gave me the job of coming up for a new name for a company.  There original name is too close to another company and they don't want the two confused.  I came up with about ten names, so hopefully they will like one of them.  Right now they are throwing odds and ends my way.  I don't think they want to start with the major training of any kind of writing because it's only my second week.  They say patience is a virtue, but right now it's just a pain in my butt.  I need the next few months to fly by so I can learn this stuff. 

I went to this place looking for a job as a receptionist, not thinking in a million years it would turn into something else.  I found the ad in the paper and went for it.  Good pay, weekends off, and gas money when I run errands for the office.  Now though, it's looking like it might be a possibility in disguise. If nothing else, it's local exposure with ads in magazines and newspapers, and more importantly, it's experience.  There ain't nothing wrong with a little know how and little somethin' somethin' to back it up, you get what I'm sayin?

Yeah, okay, so I'm a little hyper.  Sorry about that.  I don't excited often, but when I do, I get a little....hmmm psycho sometimes.  Totally unlike myself with big smiles and crazy laughter that doubles me over and brings tears to my eyes.  Good moods are weird.